Motivating your littles with Power Ups
Motivating kids, I find, is tricky. As parents, we find ourselves offering candy, screen time, or money to get our kids to sit down and eat at the dinner table or pick up their toys or help set the table, or …. the list goes on. We also find ourselves taking away the same things to discipline. Most times, I cringe when I go to these tactics to get results. It’s not what the parenting book say to do and honestly, aren’t our littles just supposed to help around the house because that is what you do in a family?
We’ve tried other tactics - gently asking, coaxing, reminding them what it means to be a good person and a helper within the family. We’ve talked about being a team player and how helping each other means we will have more individual time to do fun things like movies, video games, and board games. Time and again we find we are back to incentives. Rational thought falls on deaf pre-teen ears in this bungalow.
About a month ago I was incredibly fed up and frustrated with the kids and their lack of assistance around the house. But I was also fed up and frustrated by my typical last minute promise of screen time (the holy grail of incentives round here) if they helped me with something in the moment. There had to be a way to get more active, unasked participation in household chores (win for me) and where the kids got more video game time (win for them). Solution - a chore chart that rivaled the one I did as a kid leading up to Santa’s arrival on December 25 (I see what you did there, Mom and Dad).
Let’s break it down - I listed my top ten or so tasks I wanted the kids to do around the house for me and assigned a value to each of the activities. Chores that were more complicated, like folding and putting away laundry were assigned more points, while easier, daily tasks got fewer points. I called the list of chores “Power Ups” because the kids are into Mario Bros. Each week, the kids are gifted 30 minutes of screen time and they can add to that amount of time by doing things off the Power Up list. At any point in the week they can use their points in any amount they chose (i.e.: screen time minutes) to watch movies, shows, or video games. Daily word games and school activities don’t count against the time given or accrued. We can also deduct points if warranted.
The Power Up chore chart, with a list of Mom’s top things to do.
Right out of the gate, the chore chart was a big success. The boys raced to pick up their toys, empty the dishwasher, water the plants, or wipe down the bath sink. It was almost magical….until you factored in the intense competition between brothers and the bickering, fighting, arguing, whining, and complaining when a task was taken by the other. Within two days we pivoted to version 2 of the plan, where I assigned them tasks with equal values. Each week the list would swap. We also put a limit on certain activities (lest my plants be drowned) and added a few more tasks to the list at their request (win for Mommy!). It’s a work in progress, and one that I’m happy to tweak.
A post it lists out those activities assigned to each kiddo.
We are starting week 4 of the chore chart. The excitement has worn off a bit, I’ll admit, but it still is a powerful motivator for the kids and helps them see where to step in without me badgering them. I’m less frustrated because I’m not doing the majority of the chores and I feel like they are learning how to be helpful around the house. They have earned sooo much screen time so they are very happy little ones. Is it perfect? Nope. Is it a new and innovative approach? Nope, again. Is it working? Yep. And that’s all that matters right now. I still don’t love that I’m incentivizing what should be common sense helping, but maybe that’s ok because we all like a little motivation in our lives, right? I figure in some distant year they will just start helping out without getting something out of it because they see the benefit to everyone (when does that rational brain kick in?).
What do you think? Is this a good approach? What ways do you encourage engagement and help from your littles? Do you use incentives, and if so which ones? Add a comment below and let me know know what works for you? I might just try it out! :) Much Love - Katie