Back to work
Baby 2.0 arrived in early June and my husband and I have been adjusting to life with two under three for the last few months. At this moment I think it's safe to say that we are tired but managing. There are so many stories to share from our adventures in the last three months. Our birthcenter birth, an ER visit and multi-day hospital stay, Baby 1.0's transition to a toddler bed quickly come to mind. I'll get to sharing these stories soon.
First though I have to talk about what's been on my mind all week - going back to work. I'm heading back on Monday with mixed emotions. I'm looking forward to seeing colleagues and diving back into work. I'm excited to problem solve, build relationships, research and write, and manage projects.
My brain is cheering for work's promise of adult conversation, organization, stability, predictability, and accomplishment (oh how I love checking to-do items off of a list) - a stark contrast to the chaos, unpredictability, and high energy of home. *cue sigh of relief*
Baby 2.0 snuggles (at just 2 days old).
Baby 2.0's fantastic grin at 3 months old.
On the flip side, my heart is heavy to miss out on so much of Baby 2.0's development. I'm sad at the thought of missing each wide grin, delighted giggle, quiet snore, innocent coo, and curious look. I'll miss our afternoon snuggles and that powdery baby smell. Baby 2.0 will grow and change without me watching every moment. As Monday creeps closer sadness, guilt, and worry combine in a cocktail of emotions. *cue heartbreak*
As a second time mom I have the benefit of knowing what is coming. I can honestly tell my heart, with experience to back it up, that it will be ok. Next week will be hard - Monday I'll be a weepy mess - but all will be well. Our family will settle into a routine. Every snuggle will become more precious. Every coo, giggle, snore, and look more memorable.
Somehow the pain will recede and be replaced with a sense of gratitude for our 3+ month time together. My experience has taught me that these last few days together are incredibly important and you'll find me soaking up every moment I can with this little one. With tissues nearby.
Tell us how you felt leading up to your return to work. Were you excited, scared, ecstatic or maybe gloomy? How were your first few days back? Did you have the opportunity, if you wanted, to work with your employer to make changes to your schedule?